An Audio-Book Review: Yee Haw!

Lone Star Planet

Aka A Planet for Texans

By H. Beam Piper and John Joseph McGuire

Published by Librivox.org

Read by Mark Nelson

The Book:

H. Beam Piper has been one of my favorite authors ever since first read Little Fuzzy. At least I think that was the first of his stories I read. Some of his works are a bit dated these days and some have aged worse than others, I fear, but when you keep in mind that most of his stuff was written in the 1950’s and early 60’s, well they do all show signs of those times. Just keep in mind that most characters are white, male and very straight. The women tend to be secondary characters although Piper’s women are not stupid and some are fairly strong characters for the time in which they were written. It’s just that the main characters are usually white, male and straight.

For the record, that is not entirely true for all of Piper’s stories. While race is not often mentioned outright there are characters in his Terro-Human Future history whose names imply any imaginable ethnicity and even some mixes we might consider unusual. One might get the feeling that in his future universe race and other human differences will pale compared to between humans and other intelligent species. Maybe they will…

Actually, I am somewhat surprised that some of the stories Piper wrote (either by himself or with McGwire) have not been adapted into movies, especially by some special interest groups. I could easily see Lone Star Planet, for example, being adapted for a movie and shown on NRA TV. Piper’s Murder in the Gunroom would be fodder for the NRA’s propaganda as well. Both stories glorify the right to own guns. Murder in the Gunroom, makes good arguments for the joy of collecting firearms (Piper, himself, was a collector), but Lone Star Planet actually speaks out about the right to bear arms in terms we still hear today from our politicians and other pro-gun activists (sadly, we usually hear that sort of rhetoric immediately after yet another mass-shooting). I’m not sure I’d really want to see Piper’s stories used that way, but it would not surprise me if that happened.

In all, I think I prefer Piper’s later works, but Lone Star Planet has long been a favorite of mine because Piper and McGwire wrote it well and with a fair amount of humor built in. It’s a fun read. One just has to read it with the same thoughts one might have when watching an old Leave It to Beaver or  Father Knows Best episode.

In any case this is a story about a clever member of the Solar League’s Diplomatic Corp (Stephen Silk). I’m not sure if Piper and McGwire wrote other stories in this particular future history, but if so, I have not yet read them, but would be interested in doing so. If differs drastically from Piper’s Terro-Human timeline in that humans are just one of a number of high-tech space-faring species so the whole dynamic is both different and intriguing. Silk may have been too clever by half and after writing a book under the pseudonym of Machiavelli Jr. he finds himself appointed ambassador to  a semi-anarchistic world settled by Texans intent on recreating their own image of what the Republic of Texas was (right down to the detail of moving the Alamo stone-by-stone, and reconstructing it on New Texas, although why it was not put in “New El Paso” rather than New Austin can only be explained in that it’s a short novel and Silk did not have much time to travel around New Texas before the real action began.

Everything is bigger (or in this case “Super”) on New Texas it seems from the native, but inexplicably edible, native creatures called “Super Cows” (Never hear about Super Bulls though) to their local drink “Super Bourbon.” Why Bourbon since they were not from Kentucky beats me.

Anyway, Silk is there because his immediate predecessor was assassinated, but on New Texas an Ambassador is just another practicing politician and politicians are fair game if it can be proved in court that they were killed because their political activities were to the detriment of the people of New Texas. In short, if the court deems they “Needed killin’” the killer goes free with the gratitude of the court. There is the concept of extraterritoriality and diplomatic immunity for ambassadors and their staff, but that can go right out the door if said ambassador tries too hard to get the local government to agree to something the people do not want, and by people, that might only be one or two if they can justify their actions as killing a politician who deserved it. Sounds fun???

Silk soon realizes he’s been set up as a sacrifice in interstellar politics because another tech-savvy species is planning to invade and conquer New Texas and the Solar League needs a sacrifice to justify going to war. The problem is, Silk needs to see that both the killers of his predecessor are held accountable while also establishing that ambassadors are not politicians by the laws of New Texas all the while exposing the machinations of this other species. Staying alive throughout all that would be nice too.

The Audiobook:

I always enjoy Mark Nelson’s readings and he seems to have fun with them. This time I think he had more fun than usual. He drawls his way through what I guess is a Texan accent, even when reading the credits. Actually, I know quite a few people from Texas and none talk like that, but what he uses is a Hollywood Cowboy accent which fits the story and characters perfectly and he only deviates from that accent when a non-Texan, like Silk and his embassy staff are speaking. It was fun to listen to although because Librivox breaks its audiobooks into several parts, I had to hear him use that very thick accent to announce the beginnings and ends of each segment. That got a little tiring by the end of the book, but it did not ruin my enjoyment.

So, it’s a dated, but still fun story and read in a most entertaining manner.

Next: Another Roman murder mystery by Steven Saylor; The Venus Throw